Monday, December 17, 2007

A True Gift at Christmas Time

This is sort of an odd post for Christmas, it really has nothing to do with Christmas, but with life & love...
The other night we were watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" & there is a line that says: "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages boxes, or bags!" & the Narrator responds, "And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more."
To all of my friends who don't have Christmas in your heart, perhaps it is because you do not have LOVE in your heart. No, I don't mean one special person, but I mean, you have a hard time loving anyone.
This year I have learned a lot about myself, who I am; not who others tell me I should be. I have learned a lot about life, and how I want to live; not about how others think I should live.
Truely, I think that often times we look too closely at others. "Keeping up with the Joneses" is a huge issue in our society. We want because someone else has it, not because it is what we value or think will make our lives more pleasant. I have a beautiful home, and nice things. I enjoy entertaining and having people over. This makes my life more rich. I don't care that I don't live in a HUGE house with all of the luxuries that one person can have. I dont care what the person next door has. That shouldn't be a priority to anyone if it won't further you and your relationships.
I used to look at life and think that I wanted something different than what I have now. When in all honesty, my life is greater for the people that have touched my life & for the things I have accomplished. Not for how much "stuff" I have aquired. Not for the life that magazines, tv and movies tell me I should have.
Dave has taught me what TRUE LOVE is. I never thought that I was capable of true love. I ran from anything that looked that way. I was afraid of it. No, it isn't always easy for us, and yes, we have our own issues to deal with. But we are human. No one person is perfect. So to think you will find the "PERFECT PERSON" is an oxy moron. But to find someone who truely loves you, appreciates you & respects you in every aspect is something wonderful. And it is possible for those of you who stop looking, and start relying on God & his ability to do something great.
To my "step-kids"- Each day you teach me something about myself & teach me to be patient and kind.I know that there are days that I fall short, but I love you all with every part of me, and cannot imagine my life being any differently than it is...but just remember, that doesn't mean you get a free pass on your chores! ha.
Zachary has taught me perhaps the most about myself though. While he & I cannot communicate in the traditional way, there are times when I swear he looks at me & knows that I love him. To have him wrap his hand around mine or to kiss me on the cheek makes up for all of the frustration & heart ache. I can ask God "Why him? Why does he have this cross to bear" or I can simply know that God has a plan, whatever it may be, even though I cannot see it or understand it, and know that I am learning to be patient and kind, full of understanding.
To my friends who have so much strength, who have endured life's struggles and heartaches, and still stand before me & beside me. You all have been my rock; you are the people I go to when I am upset or feel I cannot carry on. Thank you for your friendship and for helping me continue on.
You see, for so long I have been treated as a weak-minded individual who cannot make a decision on her own. Someone who is flawed and doesnt deserve all of the good things life has to offer.
I have found the truth. I am happy. No one can take that from me.
I hope that during the Holidays, and entering into the new year you all will find what I have found and learn to be content...and Happy.